Spilled Ink

arbitraryoutlet:

There’s something that has always stumped me about the TWC. The amount of crushes, romances, and for lack of better words incestuality. You can shake your head all you want, but we’ve all been guilty of falling a little too hard for someone a little too far away or a little bit too much of a stranger. It’s always shocked me how total strangers can fall for eachother, but It seems that around these parts, there’s always someone amazing and fascinating enough to wish you were theirs. And I wonder a lot, why it isn’t always that way day to day in ordinary life. I’ll go on dates and think to myself “how am I running out of conversation with a good mutual friend, when last night I spent an upwards of 4 hours skyping with a practical stranger?” I look back on past relationships and think of how little I really knew that person, how detached I was from everything other than their daily life. Never bothering to venture into childhood nostalgia or dig further than their proudly displayed scars into the fleshy underbelly of pure soul and essence. Why is that? I think a lot of falling in love gets lost to affection and intimacy. I find myself so focused on touching, kissing, holding, fucking, sucking, hugging etc. that past the first few dates… conversation becomes lost. We turn to small talk with the people we see every day because we assume that since they are ours, tangibles and palpable, we must know everything about them. As if they’re the newly hired employee who, after passing the initial interview, we just ignore and expect them to do their jobs. Maybe thats why it’s so easy to fall for someone who only exists in our minds- who is so very far away. We can’t touch them physically, so we have to focus on touching their minds and souls. We take the time to actually speak, just speak. That makes all the difference. My ex lives 6 hours away now. We spent the night skyping, and  I feel like I’ve fallen for him all over again because instead of taking the time to cuddle and kiss, we’ve connected and adventured into each others minds. We aren’t in each others daily lives, we can’t gossip about friends and neighbors of recount weekend activities. We have to dig deeper, search harder, to find common goals and inspiration. There is something to be said for connecting without touch, and while both are important, it’s nice to focus on the mind instead of the body for once.